IS THIS LOVE OR LUST??
The conversation shows how most of us think....how ignorant some of us are..even in a world where every form of education is at our disposal..It also shows how we tend to confuse ourselves..claiming to love, when what we feel is something worse..something that cannot be defined
SMH...
NOTE: There's a lot of Nigerian Pidgin and slang in this post..If you're good..reading and understanding it won't be difficult
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Our semester's exams were over..We wrote our last paper the previous week..I was bored in my room, so i decided to stroll into school.. I needed a quiet place and the school environment was particularly quiet that day..I found an empty classroom and I entered. I brought out my novel from my cross bag and started reading.
After some time, a guy walked in as well..I guess he also wanted somewhere quiet, because he got in and immediately brought out his phone and earpiece...he placed the earpiece in his ears and bent his head on the table..don't know if he was sleeping or just relaxing.....I continued reading..
Later on two girls walked in..I looked up..they looked in my direction and turned to look else where immediately..then they sat down..
In hush tones they started talking....I couldn't make out anything they were saying...In fact, it wasn't my business....Till they started speaking a bit louder..It was distracting...kinda..
Then one said;
Girl 1: Babe, finally sha you're in love..
*my ear stood..my eyes were still on the book..I smiled to myself...me and love sha..**
Girl 2: I am... right?? I know oo..I'm going crazy by the day.
Girl 1: I can imagine...Hope he feels the same way oo. that's just my own..
Girl 2: Sure he does..if you know what he has done for me ehh..You won't believe it..He's a student and even at that, he takes care of me like he's working..When he starts working..eehhh.. I wonder what he'll do.
Girl 1: Abi?? I'm happy for you joor..
*there was a long pause...I think they were both on their phones..Then the first girl continued:
Girl 1: Ehen you told me the last time that he smashed your phone..you didn't complete the gist oo.
Girl 2: Babe that one na old gist nah..He later got me a new phone-this one I'm using now... That guy has temper and jealousy issues..But i still love him sha..He smashed it because an old schoolmate of mine called me and we spoke long on phone.
Girl 1: Your schoolmate kwa?
Girl2: Yes o..back in secondary school..a guy..I haven't spoken to him in a while..so i was sounding very excited..Kevin got angry and said I was talking to a 'chyker'. I tried explaining, he just smashed the phone... He even tried to hit me sef..but i dodged it..At the end, when he was calm, he apologized and 3 days later, he got me a new one.
Now, i can't pick calls in his presence or talk to most of my other male friends the way i like..Just for peace to reign oo..
*the other guy had by now raised his head and removed the earpiece.. He was just pressing his phone..I knew he was also listening to the girls, because he turned to look at them at intervals..
Girl 1: Girl you're strong o.. I don't think i can stay with such guy oo... What if he hits you one day..
Girl 2:He can't abeg..Even if he does..no problem...At least all i want, he provides...so that one isn't a biggie..at least his jealousy shows he loves me...
Girl 1: Ok o..Na you sabi oo....
Girl 2: Do you know we even share the same tooth brush?? *she burst into laughter*
Girl 1: For real?
Girl 2: Yes o. It's crazy..yeah but he doesn't seem to mind..A a matter of fact, he started it..When we stayed over at a friend's place.. I wasn't with mine and there was no place to buy, so he gave me his to use..since then..it's a normal thing between us..We use the same kind of brush, and we keep it at the same spot when together..when it's time to brush, we just take any..We are that close..hahahhaha..
* my ear was full o..I had heard enough...the other guy looked at me..i just removed my face immediately..I started silently praying the girls would either lower their voices, leave the class or at least stop talking..***
Girl 1:Babe i swear..you don Kolo oo(you're mad)
Girl2: that one na small thing nah...we are inseparable oo...at least as far as the money and goodies keep coming..i'm okay. Lemme tell you something..
*her voice was low now...I was ready..I strained my ear to listen..I was close to them, so that helped. Curiosity plus the 'amebo' in me was active**
Girl 1: ok o..talk jare
Girl 2: We don't use C.D ooo
*HMM!!!!..this girl was just sick..by now..i just felt like getting up and going to slap her...For real? No C.D and they aren't married?**
Girl 1: you don't say!! How do you avoid being preggy?? Don't tell me you've been going under the knife for that boy oo..e go pain me babe..
Girl 2: Nah..see he did it the first time-skin on skin..and it was cool..i enjoyed it..As for being preggy, he's aware of things like that..he knows how he does his thing...then he gives me something to drink afterwards..He's been careless only once..And when I suspected something was amiss, I did the usual nah..a doctor recommended that one sha..
Girl 1: Na wa oo..Babe you don fall my hand big time..is dat the only thing? what about STD, AIDs and others...What if a break up occurs? and he starts telling your tales..have you thought of that one? I'm not happy with this abeg..no judging..but it's the truth..
I don't understand that your boyfriend oo...
Girl 2: What do you mean sef? It's not a bad thing please..Whose fault is it that yours doesn't want such intimacy..Leave me jare...nothing spoil...I'm positive he's sound..I am as well..So I'm not scared..
Girl 1: Oh! You're not even sure sef..I'm highly disappointed.. So you think you're the only one in his life ehh..very true!!
Girl 2: Oya the insult has started..I'm leaving now... I made the mistake telling you in the first place..We go meet for house..If Chioma comes, tell her I waited for her...I'm off!
*And that's it..she stormed out of the class..Her friend packed her things and ran after her...The other boy looked at them..and looked at me..His eyes didn't want to leave me..I had a feeling he heard everything, because the look on his face was accusing..like it was saying..'you girls sha..na wa oo'.,...I didn't mind at all..I eyed him and continued with my book..Till i got tired and left..
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.I have been thinking about this conversation till date..I'm angry at myself for listening(but i had to...they were not entirely talking in hushed tones)...I'm also angry i did nothing..said nothing(but i couldn't possibly, right? they'd have said i was being nosy).
Ok..I know we aren't meant to judge and all.. but what should be said to this very girl..so she'd know what she's really doing to herself..Also. tell me if this is truly love..Or am i missing something? I'm confused here..Please..
In the mean time, if you have friends with such reasoning and mentality, wake them up before it gets too late..tell them how important it is for them to not do things for reasons that are not genuine...lying and pretending you love someone isn't the best...
More so, engaging in acts that will only damage your image and your body for any reason whatsoever is the worst thing anybody can do to his/herself...DESIST FROM IT...
Such girls generally are everywhere..especially in our schools..help them realize themselves
More so, engaging in acts that will only damage your image and your body for any reason whatsoever is the worst thing anybody can do to his/herself...DESIST FROM IT...
Such girls generally are everywhere..especially in our schools..help them realize themselves
Don't forget I need your comments, suggestions and advice..
CHEERS!
Hmmm...June It is well u managed to take control of ur pulse right there, with controlled sight and attentive ear...(some wuld v got up in rage...walked up to girl 2, and -given her a hot slap...says.. Babe wake up.!open your eyes oooh!!). Some might criticize u for given ear to what was not your business...Buh d fact still remains dat the "Ear is never tired of hearing so as the eyes never tired of Sight" But we must Seldom keep close guard of our EARS & EYES....
ReplyDeleteYour questions here are quite intelligible June, buh in addition to ur questions and in contrast to relationships maters, I would also ask...Can't there be Relationships free from Sexual intercourse before marriage in our world today???
To ur question... it is evident here that Lust is playing and has indeed played a very big role in the young ladies relationship, owing to d fact that all she cares about is the present pleasures and satisfaction of her desires, which she drives from SEX and other material things,from the young man, and this has so much blinded her that she pays no attention to the many consequences of her desires as so rightly pointed out by Girl 1 in the conversation. When a man truly and genuinely Loves a woman, He desires all that will see to her well-being both present and the future,(Sex here is a Lie,because they wouldn't want to bear a child which is the ultimate purpose of sexual intercourse between both Sex.. so they think of abortion, and so having Eros love out side marriage, does no good at all.) and so does a Woman when she loves a man, For Love is Kind, it does not hurt the loved, it over looks errors 4 the sake of peace (Tolerance) it Hopes for beter days ahead,and on and on. But opposite is the case for LUST...for when a man lusts after a woman...He seeks only what he can get from d woman at instant (in most cases Her body through sex or money) without thought of the negative effects of his desires & actions, and when this is not forth coming, Jealousy, hatred, and all sorts of vice sets in and destroys the relationship. In other words "Lust is in itself Selfish "....so to is the case for a woman who Lust after a Man.
And for my question June...it is possible! It is a great Truth that we all have sexual passions & desires which results from emotional feelings most often...But for this reason, there is the virtue of self-control ; which compels us to take possession of sexual passions rather than been possessed by our Sexual desires. So as to help us Love purely our partner. Maturity must be a father here!.
What should be said to Girl 2?
From the conversation she obviously appears very adamant in the relationship, and so gives deaf ears to corrections or even stop to think of the very many negative consequences of her present life in contrast to the future. Such people as this young girl (who chose to wallow in ingnorance), should be left to the mercy &teaching of EXPERIENCE.!(since she neither wants to learn from the experiences of others, nor from Natural knowledge) Nonetheless, she must also very well think of her vulnerability, as a woman, if any misfortune should sit-in in the relationship. The man cn easily find his way out of the damage of a break up, but not so for her,(most times the effect of the damage is chronicle 4 a woman) . So let her consider the negative effect of multiple sexual intercourse and abortion, Let her think of caring her own baby someday as a mother....Lest she has resolved to waste her life jumping from one man to another (4give pls I do not pray so) but please let her take adequate caution!!! On her life....
So Julie and buriful 20plus cuties & sweet hearts...Let us seldom endeavor to build a relationship free from Sexual intercourse... Because abstaince is the sure way!
Alright!!!!.... Thanks Julie for dis article... Keep asking questions about Love & Relationships ooh... because a whole lot is been compromised nowadays about it... Cheers...
SMH as the comment is longer than the original post. Lolz
ReplyDeleteLolz, dt shud b anoda page nt comment #mouth sealed #interesting post
ReplyDelete