SORRY: HOW OFTEN DOES YOUR EGO ALLOW YOU TO SAY IT??

Hey sweethearts....

Hope you had a wonderful day?

Did you offend anybody today? If you did, were you able to apologise immediately or after everything?

How often does you ego allow you to do that?

Today, I sat all day and pondered on something.. The number of friends I've lost and the number that have lost me because of this thing called "pride"....yes we should all have it somehow,, you know having self respect and knowing your worth. When it becomes an issue is when you become so full of yourself and feel that you're too big to apologise.
 For me, I seriously hate proud people... people that can't say sorry when they offend you.

Honestly, I wasn't always that person who would feel remorse, summon up courage and apologise when I offend someone. Don't know why it was like that for me but later on, I learnt the hard way..

I had this very good friend of mine, I could tell he really liked me but he never asked me to be his girlfriend or anything-though i thought it would happen soon like other guys do, that maybe he was just taking his time- but now,I realise that indeed he didn't show any sign that he saw me in  that light...He'd always check up on me and make sure I was feeling happy all the time ...He was a good friend like that..
As the years rolled by, we got into the university and our friendship suffered somehow- it had to.. different schools, schedules and everything...
Even at that, he'd always call to know how I'm faring...At a point, I got bored with the calls...didn't want them to continue..I'd answer sometimes, other times, I'll just put my phone on silent till he calls and gets tired of doing that and the worst part is, I didn't always return his calls..
This continued for a while, till my birthday in 2013...that day didn't start well for me, but things turned around...He called me that very day when I had lost hope of ever having anything close to fun..
Wow! I was super excited..He came from his school to mine to pick me up and we headed out...That was a gesture I was so grateful for..

However, Few weeks after that, things returned to the way they were. The calls I had started enjoying from him went back to being boring..I stopped picking..Because of the fact that I rarely answered whenever he called, we had a major fallout..At the end, he promised he'd  try to stop calling since that was what I wanted.. I started that quarrel I remember and till date do regret..

But the truth is, days after that quarrel that I didn't receive any call from him, I was happy...Happy that I had finally got rid of a huge disturbance... I also had confidence that he'd definitely come back to beg me as usual..
So for me, then, calling/trying to see him to apologise for my wrong deeds was the last thing on my mind...I felt i wasn't supposed to do any of that, it'll only make him think I'm weak(such thinking..)

 But as I sit and think of the whole incident, I realise I had lost someone very important just because of my behaviour and the fact that I was not enjoying his conversation..
What happened to telling him in a civilised manner, that I didn't fancy his calls?Or at least he should just reduce the rate at which he called..
Whatever happened to apologising then after I had made the mistake?

I let my pride rule..Ever since then, I decided, I'd never allow such happen again...I'd instead go at length to show how sorry I am when I wrong someone. I won't care if people see me as being weak or anything of that nature..

I must tell you, there's a great inner joy and satisfaction that comes when you know you're the first to apologise to someone..whether you're at fault or not..TRY IT and see that it's really true..

You don't have to lose that special friend before you learn that having an over-bloated ego doesn't pay at all.. you can just learn from me.....
Always remember this, when you do eventually say those five letter words, please do it because you really mean...do it with all your heart..and you'll love the results...

I LOVE Y'ALL

There's a little twist in the story of my "ex" friend and I...He's now in the states..I got to find out from someone and now, i have no idea how to contact him..Even if i did, wouldn't he just think I'm calling because i heard he's abroad????HELP!!!! I want my good friend back!*sad*
later sweeties....